Mikki Freeman

Web Developer Extraodinare

“..he's probably the greatest web developer in the world... no, wait.. the UNIVERSE.”
- anonymous client

“Mikki Freeman designed the website for my martial arts school. He made it
so lively and interactive that a ninja actually jumped out of the computer
and attacked one of the users. Long story short - we got sued.”

- martial arts instructor

“...the best person you will ever meet.”
- anonymous client

“You can brush and floss all you want, but your smile will never shine as brightly as Mikki's.”
- dentist

“I wanted to buy some PHP but apparently it's not a drug. It's a scripting language, and this
guy has got mad skillz at it. You're not gonna tell my mom about the PHP thing, are you?”

- misinformed juvenile delinquent

“Mikki did not allow his humanity to interfere with his work on a computer program
that seeks to eliminate all human life. His devotion to the job is incalculable.”

- Skynet mainframe

“Mikki was doing work on a tourism website for our peninsula. He mentioned that islands are considered to be sexier.
We flooded part of our land. People died. We are an island nation now. Great marketing tip!”

- foreign dictator

“Recently, they conducted a poll to reassess the seven wonders of the world...
It is an absolute travesty of justice that Mikki Freeman did not make the cut.”

- anonymous client

“We invented the Like button because our users needed a way to express how they feel about Mikki.”
- Mark Zuckerberg

“Mikki is a brilliant web designer. Definitely one of the best. If you live in a
country that is located in the future, he will complete the project much faster.”

- anonymous client

“I can't give Mr. Freeman's services my seal of approval because I'm not allowed back in the aquarium.”
- marine biology thief

“He's tolerable to be around, depending on the weather.”
- overly negative Mikki critic

“The American dollar has weakened during the past 8 years, but some
merits of value never change. Like the value of gold. Or Mikki Freeman.”

- Wall Street analyst

“Let's just be honest. The real reason why MySpace is no longer cool has nothing to do with Facebook.
It's because Mikki doesn't work there anymore.”

- tech blogger

“If a Mikki Freeman website were a movie, it would definitely be the 'La La Land' of sites.
I actually only thought that 'La La Land' was OK, fairly mediocre.”

- anonymous client

“Mikki implemented a Wordpress template while locked in an underwater coffin. Penn & Teller inspired him.”
- Mayor of Las Vegas

“Mikki Freeman is the man. Not a man. The man. Meaning that he is somehow a quintessential man.
Don't ask me -- I didn't invent the lingo.”

- middle-aged Caucasian male

“Oh yes, I go through all of the shredded papers in his trash. So far I've found nothing
incriminating per se, but I will confirm that his mind is unclean.”

- garbage man/spy

“I asked him for a quarter and he stopped to count out exactly twenty-five cents.
The man believes in generosity as well as accuracy!”

- impressed beggar

“Mikki Freeman is a brilliant flash of light in a dark and vacuous universe. However, his light
and everything else is about to be consumed and obliterated by an enigmatic black hole,
rendering his illumination entirely pointless.”

- depressed astronomer

“Many IT contracts include legal phrases like 'an act of God'. Recently, there
was a serious debate as to whether to legitimize the phrase 'an act of Mikki'.”

- lawyer

“Mikki is short. He's compact. You can put him in your briefcase and take him to a meeting.”
- Mikki's doctor